English for Dummies

I actually had a different post idea ready for today, but when this happened last night, I knew it had to be written about ASAP, as I know it will be enjoyable for all.

I got a chance to go to the tanner last night. When I first went in, I was talking to the girl about different kinds of beds. At this point, you can practically be microwaved for two seconds and DING! You're done. For me, this defeats the purpose because I like to be in the light. Either way...it's here nor there.

So I am talking to her about her super-deluxe-microwaver and the extra-super-fanciful-bronzing-devices and asked her what the difference was in the beds, other than $30 to upgrade. This folks, and I quote, is exactly what she said.

Me: So what is the actual difference in the beds?
Her: Well, this one has more UVB rayses than the other one.

Yes, that is right. Apparently "rayses" is the pluralized form of ray. I kinda cocked my head and looked at her, as if to say...hum-a-nuh-huh?

Her: Yeah, each of the beds has different amounts of rayses. Like this one has more UVA rayses, and the other one has more UVB rayses because one is used for burning and one is used for bronzing. So, when you change the amount of rayses...

She just kept saying it. And all I could think to myself is...you've just made the blog. Not to mention the fact that she had previously informed me that she had been in tanning for five years. Really? For five years, every client that has asked you about the beds has been told about the rayses?

As a side note, I would also like to talk briefly about the general public getting an English lesson.

"Your going too walk threw there door." (If you don't understand what is wrong with this sentence, clearly you are one of the ones who needs to get an "English for Dummies" book.)

That looks like something I would find on many of my friends facebook pages. So, if this is you, I am sorry. But it annoys me. I can't stand it. Honestly, did you just not pay attention in school? That is something you learn in like...grade school, right? How do you not know the difference between to and too? How do you not know the difference between then and than? How do you not know the difference between through and threw? Seriously? Is this a joke? It's petty, I know. But we really need to start correcting people. My friend told me that it's the only way people are going to learn, and I think she's right. I said, "I don't want to embarrass them," and she said "Yeah, but it will be enough to make them remember." So true, and let's face it, the most important thing is for people to stop annoying me, right?

Good news is, it gave me something to blog about today, and something for you to enjoy. So, Miss Tanning Manager...if you are reading this, take an English course...and pay attention.